Welcome to Authorized Sword Ministries. This is Breaking the Chains, Series Three, Breaking Spiritual Strongholds. Lesson Three: Anger, Bitterness, and Unforgiveness, the Chains of the Heart.

We're so glad you're here.

Before We Begin

A gentle note first. This course is Bible teaching and spiritual encouragement. It does not replace professional counseling or medical care. We encourage you to use those good resources right alongside your faith. And if you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time, day or night, in the United States. In an emergency, call 911.

If you are being abused or are in danger, please get to a safe place and call 911. Forgiveness, which we'll talk about today, never means you must stay in harm's way.

Where We Left Off

In Lesson One, we learned what a stronghold is. In Lesson Two, we looked at gambling and the love of money.

Today we look at chains you can't see in a bottle, a screen, or a bank statement. They're hidden in the heart: anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Many people who would never touch a drug are bound by these. They sit in church every Sunday holding a grudge from twenty years ago. And it is eating them alive.

Our Key Verse

Today's key verse is Ephesians 4:31-32.

"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." — Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV)

"Let all bitterness... be put away." Not some. All. And then the reason: "even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." We forgive because we have been forgiven.

When Anger Becomes a Stronghold

Not all anger is sin. Jesus was angry at sin. But the Bible draws a line:

"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." — Ephesians 4:26-27 (KJV)

Remember "give place" from Lesson One? Paul puts it right after anger. Anger that you carry to bed, night after night, gives the devil a foothold. It becomes a stronghold.

"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." — Proverbs 16:32 (KJV)

"For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." — James 1:20 (KJV)

An angry outburst never fixed a heart. It wounds a spouse, scares children, and pushes people away. And a quick temper can lead to things a person regrets the rest of his life. Cain was angry before he killed his brother, and God warned him first: "sin lieth at the door" (Genesis 4:7).

The Root of Bitterness

Bitterness is old anger that has put down roots.

"Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;" — Hebrews 12:15 (KJV)

Notice two things. A root grows underground, where no one sees it. And "many be defiled." Bitterness never stays with one person. It spills onto your family, your church, and your children. Kids raised by a bitter parent often grow up bitter themselves.

Someone has said bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It hurts you most of all.

Why We Must Forgive

Jesus was very clear about forgiveness.

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." — Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)

Those are serious words. Jesus also told a story about a servant who was forgiven a huge debt by his king, then went out and choked a fellow servant over a small one. The king called him wicked and delivered him "to the tormentors" (Matthew 18:34). Then Jesus said:

"So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses." — Matthew 18:35 (KJV)

Unforgiveness is a prison. And the one locked inside is the one who won't forgive.

What Forgiveness Is, and Isn't

Forgiveness doesn't mean what they did was okay. It wasn't. It doesn't mean you pretend it never happened. It doesn't mean you must trust someone who isn't safe. And it doesn't mean there are no consequences.

Forgiveness means you hand the debt over to God. You stop demanding that they pay you back. You let God be the judge.

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." — Romans 12:19 (KJV)

Forgiveness is often a choice before it's a feeling. You may have to choose it again and again. When Peter asked how many times to forgive, Jesus answered:

"Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." — Matthew 18:22 (KJV)

Look at the Cross

How can you forgive what was done to you? Look at Jesus. While they nailed Him to the cross, He prayed:

"Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots." — Luke 23:34 (KJV)

And remember Joseph. His brothers sold him into slavery. Years later, when he had the power to pay them back, he said:

"But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." — Genesis 50:20 (KJV)

Joseph saw God's hand above the hurt. That's what set him free.

Pray for Them

Jesus gave us a weapon against bitterness:

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" — Matthew 5:44 (KJV)

It's hard to stay bitter at someone you're praying for. Start there, even if all you can pray at first is, "Lord, help me forgive them."

Questions for Study

1. According to Ephesians 4:26-27, when does anger cross the line into sin?
2. Read Hebrews 12:15. Why does Scripture call bitterness a "root"? Who else does it affect?
3. What do Matthew 6:14-15 and Matthew 18:35 teach about forgiving others?
4. What is forgiveness? What is it not?
5. How does Joseph's statement in Genesis 50:20 help us forgive?
6. Is there someone you need to forgive? What step can you take this week?

Simple Steps for This Week

First, ask God to show you anyone you're holding a grudge against. Write their names on a private list.

Second, pray for each person on that list by name, and tell God you're handing the debt to Him.

Third, if you've been the one who wronged someone, go and make it right.

Fourth, memorize Ephesians 4:31-32.

And fifth, read Matthew chapter eighteen and Genesis chapter fifty.

Next Time

In Lesson Four, we finish this series and the whole Breaking the Chains course with lasting freedom: how to walk in the Spirit, day by day, and stay free.

A Prayer

Let's pray together.

Heavenly Father,

You have forgiven us so much. Forgive us for holding on to anger and bitterness.

Pull up every root of bitterness in our hearts. Help us put away all wrath and malice. Make us kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, even as You for Christ's sake have forgiven us.

For those who have been deeply hurt, heal their hearts and keep them safe.

Help us to love our enemies and to pray for those who have wronged us.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Thank you for spending this time with us. We'll see you in Lesson Four.

This is Authorized Sword Ministries. God bless you.

Sources

This lesson uses Scripture only. No outside statistics are quoted.