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Breaking Free Part 2, Lesson 4: Red Flags Before "I Do"

Key text: Proverbs 22:3 (KJV)

Authorized Sword Ministries

Audio narrated with an AI voice. Read along below.

Hello, friend. Welcome to Authorized Sword Ministries.

We're so glad you're here.

Where We Left Off

In Lesson Three we looked at godly character. Today is our last lesson. It's called "Red Flags Before 'I Do.'"

Our Key Verse

"A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."
— Proverbs 22:3 (KJV)

A wise person sees trouble coming and steps aside. It's much easier to walk away before the wedding than after.

Red Flags From Part 1

In Part 1, Lesson Two, we learned the signs of an abusive person, in men and women alike. Watch for them while dating:

  • Lying and twisting the truth (John 8:44).
  • Control, pride, and cruelty (2 Timothy 3:1-5).
  • Rage and constant fighting (Galatians 5:19-21).
  • "Sorry" with no real change (2 Corinthians 7:10).

A Quick Temper

"Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:"
— Proverbs 22:24 (KJV)
"Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul."
— Proverbs 22:25 (KJV)

If they explode at others now, they may explode at you later. As an application, anger during dating rarely gets better after marriage.

Seek Counsel

Don't decide alone. Let your pastor, godly friends, and family who love the Lord speak into it.

"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety."
— Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)
"Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established."
— Proverbs 15:22 (KJV)

If everyone who loves you sees red flags, listen.

Keep It Pure

God's will is for you to stay sexually pure before marriage.

"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:"
— 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (KJV)
"That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;"
— 1 Thessalonians 4:4 (KJV)

As an application, staying pure also keeps your eyes clear. Physical closeness can make it harder to see someone's character honestly.

"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart."
— 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)

Free to Marry Again

In Part 1, Lesson Three, we saw what Paul says about a believer whose unbelieving spouse departs:

"But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."
— 1 Corinthians 7:15 (KJV)

Paul is writing about a spouse who leaves. The word "abuse" isn't in the verse. As we taught in Part 1, our application is this: a spouse who abuses has already left the marriage in every way that counts. So if you got out of an abusive marriage, you are not under bondage in such cases. You are free to move on, and that includes being free to marry again.

But that freedom has the same limit God gives every believer who marries:

"The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."
— 1 Corinthians 7:39 (KJV)

"Only in the Lord." Paul wrote that verse about a widow. As an application, it fits anyone who is free to marry: marry a believer, and use everything in this series. Let God heal you first, be equally yoked, look for godly character, watch for red flags, seek counsel, stay pure, and pray.

Pray About It

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
— James 1:5 (KJV)
"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
— Proverbs 3:6 (KJV)

Ask God for wisdom, and be willing to hear "no" or "wait."

Closing Thought

Seeing a red flag and walking away is not failure. It's wisdom. Thank you for walking through Breaking Free Part 2 with us. May God lead you to a godly marriage, or give you joy in the season you're in.

Let Us Pray

Lord, give us eyes to see, ears to hear wise counsel, and hearts that stay pure. Lead each person to Your best. In Jesus' name, amen.

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